You’re not overreacting. Rape is rape and you didn’t even have to say ‘no’ for it to be considered rape. People who say you are overreacting don’t understand what has happened. I don’t know your gender, but gender aside, people view rape by women as something humorous or just less bad than rape by men. It’s for a variety of reasons and it has to do with viewing women as weak or unable to cause harm on the same levels as men. Do any of my followers have any links that may help here? Perhaps to information on gender roles of men and women and how this affects how seriously (or not) society often takes rape by women?
Sorry I don’t have much advice, but just know that you aren’t overreacting. Your feelings are your own and nobody else’s and therefore nobody has the right to say your feelings are invalid or wrong in any way!